Promises, Lies and a Tendency for Violence... Part II.

So firstly, if you missed Part I of the story, here's the link. If you read Part I (or can't be bothered reading it) sit back and get comfy, its a long one.

So I met with Kelly tonight... awkward was not even the word.  We had arranged for me to go to her house to pick up my things and she wanted to go on a wander so she could explain everything without the awkwardness (yeah cause that would be easy).  Then Amy had phoned me, having just broken up with her boyfriend, she wanted to come down to Kelly's too.

It's not that I have a problem with Amy but what me and Kelly really needed was sometime to just talk things out (personally I was hoping to have an excuse to shout a lot at her) not to have someone else there, lapsing us into silence.  Amy was insistent, but because me and Kelly live closer together we were going to walk to Amy's together.  BRING ON THE DISCOMFORT.

I offered that we discuss it on the walk home so that if it ended in me punching the two-faced cow in the face an argument we wouldn't have tension around Amy, but Kelly was insistent.  She started by telling me she thought she knew why we had fallen out and that she was genuinely sorry, that she often said sorry and never meant it but this time she did.  She told me that she was sorry she told Kate but it just slipped out and she never meant it she just was chatting like we were all having a girly night and forgot I wasn't there.

HOLD THE METAPHORICAL PHONE.  Told Kate on a girly night?  I thought she had told Amy in town! Had she got mixed up or was she inadvertently revealing something else she had been saying behind my back?  I let her go on saying nothing, letting her ramble about how she missed me and that she was taking all the blame for this etc etc (BLAH BLAH BLAH).  She asked me if Kate was the one who told me, I replied that Kate had no idea why we had fallen out.  I think it was at this point she realised i wasn't on about the same thing as her,  she quickly asked who told me and I replied 'I can't say I promised who told me that  I wouldn't say' to which she replied 'Amy'.  Is this me breaking my promise?  I replied no but she just said 'Yeah it must have been Amy, well i've never said anything to Amy about anything so I don't know what your on about'.  Technically I don't think I broke my promise there...

The long and short of the subject is that she denies saying anything to Amy in the first place but that her friend Craig might know so maybe he told Amy.  How Craig knows is hard to explain without going into details about she told everyone so we will just leave it at the fact Craig may know.

Kelly seems to think we should now be fine, so I reminded her that she just admitted telling Kate another one of my secrets!  So the walk to Amy's passed in an awkward and uncomfortable silence and when we met her it didn't matter about our tension as we were more worried about Amy crying over her ex. As the night went on we did have a giggle together and that but I really don't think I could ever trust her properly again.  I think my POA is just to go with the flow, make no effort to speak to her but be civil when she does.  I also need to talk to Craig and, if he was the one who told Amy, kick his ass.

Brooom Brooom Bang.

My pink scooter is one of my most prized  possessions - I would  prefer it minus squashed child please

I fail to see what silly young things fascination is with jumping out in front of moving vehicles.  You see it all the time, on the bus, in the car.  But do they actually realise how close we sometimes come to hitting them into next week?

I bring this up because I just nearly ran a junior at my school over on my scooter.  Feeling smug about the reaction I was about to get, I pulled into the side of the road (after one hell of an emergency stop might I add).  Oblivious to the fact I knew who she was, the girl started mouthing off.

I really shouldn't have taken that much pleasure in shouting at her, and the look that came across her face when she realised I knew who she was... but I did (hehehe!).  I didn't do it purely for the satisfaction of 'I'm sooo sorry, it wont happen again' (after threatening to go to her guidance teacher) but if me shouting at her will make her think before doing it to another road user than I see that as a victory.  I like to think of myself as a safe road user, not just because my wee 50cc wont go above 30mph unless going down hill, but because I know what kids are like.  Not all motorists are like that though, I have one 'boy-racer' who lives a few doors down that probably would have hit the girl, and more than likely have kept going.

As if its not dangerous enough for motorcyclists out on the road with cars pulling out in front of us left, right and center, without having to worry about idiots on the pavement.

So I guess this is just my over-protective post saying be careful out there.

Is It A Hurricane? Is It The Apocalypse? No Its Scotland.

Its a bit snowy...

Horrible weather is nothing new here in Scotland.   The western highlands of Scotland are one of the wettest places in Europe with annual rainfall up to 4,577 mm!  Even thought supposedly Dundee is Scotland's "Sunniest City", I would say this year we have had about two weeks worth of sun here, since I was still having snow days well into February.

Although in the last few weeks it seemed to finally be feeling like summer had arrived, I even got sun burnt and the traditional Scottish t-shirt tan.  Then BOOM.  This week we've had torrential rain and winds of over 100mph.  This week I also had a near death experience, while walking home on Monday from my Higher Physics exam, I was nearly killed by a tree falling down.  Luckily my friend Craig spotted it so I stopped just short being squished.  Walking along to the local pub later that night wasn't easy, like a mini obstacle course with avoiding branches that had fallen off and ones that looked ready to take a dive.  I would really like to know, what happened to the sunbathing weather?!

Now, my friends on Facebook seem to have come up with an answer to this: The Apocalypse.  I can't help but snigger over how dramatic this sounds.  Yes my friends, apparently were all gonna die, 21st October to be precise.  I don't mean to blow my own trumpet but so far in my short 16 years of life I seemed to have survived two supposed 'Doomsdays' so excuse me if i'm not shaking in my metaphorical boots after this prediction.  With Y2K and 6/6/06 under my belt, I'm ready to kick some Doomsday ass.

So yes, due to many random numbers being multiplied, divided and squared together it is said that Jesus had his Second Coming back to earth last weekend, where he saved a supposed 3 million people.  The rest of us unsaved souls?  Well were doomed to 5 months of 'End Times' while Jesus rules and Satan tries to kill him in the Battle of the Apocalypse (not to worry though, as in the Book of Revalations it has already been predicted that Jesus is gonna win, talk about a spoiler) then in October it's bye-bye civilisation.

I don't want to step on anybodies toes here but isn't Gods main message that He loves all of his children?  So what's the deal?  We were naughty and now He's going to kill us all?  This is taking the metaphorical Time-Out-Step to a whole new level.

Doesn't This Just Restore Your Faith In The Church? No? Good.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-13540173

This is actually horrific.  If you believe in Jesus and all that stuff then you should be able to go to the church for reassurance, guidance and spiritual help.  It is not a place you should be worried about your kids wandering off alone with the priests!  Pretty sure when God was going about banning homosexuality and adultery he may have mentioned something about PRIESTS MOLESTING CHILDREN?  No?  Slipped His mind did it?  Now I'm as well aware as the next person that the Bible can be interpreted in a million and one different ways but I'm pretty sure the Big Man in the Sky would not approve!

I know you shouldn't judge a group by it's weakest (or in this case it's most vile and horrible) member but it's not even as though this is an isolated matter as there were a list of related stories on the footer!  I am in no way saying this is common across the whole religion and neither am I judging the whole religion on it.  But perhaps instead of marching against things like Gay Marriage, you should look a little bit closer to home as to what really needs protested.

• Review into sex abuse 'failings' 14 DECEMBER 2010, SUSSEX
• Victim reveals vicar abuse ordeal 29 OCTOBER 2010, ENGLAND
• Sex abuse vicars allowed to work 21 OCTOBER 2010, SUSSEX
• Killed vicar had gun conviction 28 SEPTEMBER 2010, SUSSEX
• Man speaks of priest child abuse 29 JULY 2008, ENGLAND
• Retired priest admits child abuse 28 JULY 2008, ENGLAND

I don't know about you but this has put the church even further down the lists of places I want to go when in need of comfort!

"Plankers"

If your so lucky that you haven't heard about the new fad sweeping the nation, you would be one of the few.  'Planking' is when you lie across an object like a 'plank' of wood and... well thats it. Although I can understand where doing it once or twice would be fun, I really don't see the amusement of doing it again and again.  Yeah no doubt planking somewhere that nobody has ever planked before would make you feel cool.. but it would last for about a millisecond and then you would just be a weirdo lying on something looking like a fool.


Planking is not a new thing, its been going on in social networking site Tumblr for a while, yet only now that Facebook has got it's hands on it has it become a sensation.  Maybe your one of the areas who this activity will completely miss out, lucky you.  I can barely walk to the local shops without seeing someone lying across a fence or a pillar, and quite frankly, they look ridiculous!

I really wish I had no ties to this place, but as Planking takes my home city by storm, the least I can do is have a laugh about it!

Planking In My Hometown.

Unattractively Attractive?

Sure we all have crushes on the 'hotties' of our social scenes.  The boys who are good looking and know it.  The ones who actually know what fashion is and do a pretty good job of following it.  Yes, we all have crushes on those type of guys.   However when it comes down to love, its quite rare Fate gives us a hottie to fall for.  It seems with the new era of geek-chic being ushered in by shows like 'The Big-Bang Theory', falling for the not so trendy is becoming.. well a trend!

For example, right now I'm mad for a guy who I know isn't attractive.  As in I can see that he lacks any form of 'hotness' what so ever.  For a while I did think he was hot, but as time has went on I'm able to subjectively admit he is really not the nicest.  Yet that doesn't stop me wanting him to text me or speak to me when I see him and it doesn't stop the butterflies I get in my stomach every time I see him.

It's not even optional!  If I had my way I wouldn't like him, I would - like so many of my peers - fix my gaze on a totally unavailable gorgeous being.  Isn't there some theory that us girls are attracted to the men who give us the best possible future or something?  Well I can honestly say that theory is bull.  Unfortunately it seems this is one matter Fate is letting us have no control over, however much we disagree.

I Need To Reset My Body Clock.

Study leave is great.  Study leave is even better when all your exams are finished and you have two weeks before your due back for your senior year.  Yet after a while the staying up late just gets plain boring.  Unfortunately by the time enough nights have passed that your all caught up on your favourite TV shows and you've re-arranged your room twenty times, your body clock is pretty much set in a routine.  For example, at the moment my body wants to go to sleep at about 4/5AM and wake up at about 1PM.  This was fine when I had nothing to do during study leave but after an unexpected invite to a party next weekend I now need money.  Money which I will have to earn from doing things around the house, and getting things done is generally not helped when you waste half of the day in a comatose state.  Aside from hibernation I see no way to break this cycle.  And so it continues..

Promises, Lies and a Tendency for Violence... Part I.

Sometimes we make bad decisions, we say things without meaning to or accidentally let something slip.  There are also the other times when we know our words will cause hurt, humiliation and arguments.  Why we do these things is beyond me yet seemingly when your a teenager, and especially a girl, these things happen on a regular basis.

I'm no saint, I admit that.  In no way am I able to stand up and preach about how bitchy everyone else is, as in truth I am a huge bitch myself.  Hardly a day goes by without me gossiping about something.  Yet I know where to draw the line.. mostly.

In my past I have told peoples secrets and I'm not proud of it.  I have also dealt with the consequences of such actions.  I won't rant about how nobody will speak to me or trust me if I have brought it on myself, which is something I used to have a habit of.

However, I have put those ways behind me.  The secret telling that is, I still love a good gossip and bitch as much as the next girl.  It is never nice to find out that someone you trusted, someone you thought you could tell anything to and they wouldn't judge you or tell your secrets anyone else, turns out to be the exact opposite.  I have recently had such an experience.  It wasn't nice and it wasn't pretty.  Yet I was determined for once in my life not to stoop down to that persons level and tell all her secrets.

That's the thing I didn't understand about this particular betrayal, it wasn't as if the secret telling was one-way, with me spilling my darkest secrets and issues with someone just listening and not sharing.  Lets for the sake of not naming names, call the person who did this to me 'Kelly'.

Me and Kelly were really good friends, we talked about everything that you would expect teenage girls to talk about;  boys, sex, fashion, other girls, etc.  We also talked about personal things, like family issues and problems we were facing and I thought she was one of the people I could trust with anything.  I'm not a particularly sharing person, so I made sure that only Kelly knew the things we talked about.

Almost a month ago I went through a really tough time and relied a lot on my talks with Kelly to help me through it.  Nobody else knew what was going on but me and Kelly had never been closer.  So it came as a surprise to me when one of my other friends 'Amy' asked me about some things that I had only spoken to one person in the world about.

I asked her how she knew and she simply replied 'Kelly'.  After quickly denying everything she had asked, I asked how Kelly had told her.  As though to hurt me further I found out it was not just Amy she had told, but a group of my friends and people I don't really speak to, and not in private but blatantly talking about it one day in town.  Enraged was not the word.

It was that day that I was amazingly thankful my Dad had recently bought me a punch-bag for out in our garage.  Quickly tearing up a picture of me and Kelly, I taped her picture to the punch-bag and spent a good few hours working out my frustrations until finally, sweating and sobbing, I took my gloves off.

Amy was adamant that I wouldn't let Kelly know I had told her, so I agreed.  Promised Amy that I wouldn't say anything to Kelly.  I had no desire to speak to her anyway, my rage had turned into absolute disgust that she could ever betray me like this, I wanted nothing more to do with her.  After a week or so of me ignoring her she seemed to get the hint.  I asked a mutual friend if Kelly knew why we had fallen out, apparently she thought I was just in a mood.  So weeks passed and I never even thought of her.

I soon realised that I had left a variety of my things at Kelly's house so grudgingly made contact with her to ask for them back, it quickly turned into an argument with the end result being her leaving my stuff in a plastic bag outside her house so we didn't have to speak.

But now I face a problem,  all my stuff wasn't returned and I'm due to meet her tomorrow night to collect the rest, which wouldn't be a problem, except she has also asked me to explain why we fell out.  Now I'm conflicted between breaking my promise to Amy and giving Kelly an explanation.  I honestly don't know what I'm going to say yet. Maybe something which loosely alludes to what she did without giving the specifics and not letting on how I know?  Where would I cross the line of breaking Amy's promise?  I suppose it could be said it's karma coming back to get me, and in which case it is true what they say.  Karma is a bitch.

I'll keep you updated.  And well done if you got this far, I know this was a  l o n g  post!

Name Sakes and Head Space.

We all know the feeling of our heads being full to bursting point, whether with anxiety and worry or just thoughts going round and round.  We seek a place where we can unleash all our emotions and not have to worry about the thoughts and reactions of our friends or family.  Naturally the Internet is where we turn, but with our Twitter and Facebook accounts being so easy to find, its hardly the secluded head space we need to let off steam.

I feel like this all the time, like my brain is going into overdrive and my thoughts won't quiet down.  When people start getting bored of my constant talking, I need somewhere to expel the rest of my strange and randomly odd thoughts.  Twitter used to be my sanctuary, I started using it when hardly anyone knew of it, none of my friends at least. It was my own little virtual world, where I could share my every thought with new friends from around the world.  Where people optionally followed me to read what I had to say.  Sadly, these things rarely last, and now with nearly everyone I know with access to a twitter account I needed a new outlet.

Creating this was hardly a walk in the park, though maybe it was just me over complicating things.  First, what on earth was I going to call it?!  Not something generic like 'So-and-so's thoughts' or 'So-and-so's world' as I would never be enticed to read that, so why would other people?  Looking around my room for inspiration I found myself staring at my growing collection of feathered jewellery; one word down, one to go.  I was aiming for something easy to remember but as I'm hardly the first blogger in history, most good names were taken.  Looking for further inspiration, I Googled 'good blog names' which came up with hints on how not to name your blog, eg: nothing too long or complicated.  Helpful?  Slightly.  Not quite what I was looking for though.  Although it urged the new blogger not to use things like 'world' 'page' or 'thinks' on the end of your blog name I went with 'Feathered Thoughts'.  Original and unique?  Maybe not, but better than my first thoughts which were along the lines of 'Who Gave This Girl A Keyboard?' - which although you may wonder while reading, seemed a bit of a mouthful.

Then there were the page options:  What do you want it to look like?  What kind of font for your posts?  What font for your headings?  With over 50 background templates and designs, it took me almost an hour to come up with a page layout that ended up looking almost identical to the original template!

However, it was up and ready to go, only awaiting my input.  So here it is, my first attempt at blogging.  Whether anyone will read it I suppose remains to be seen.  Now I will just face the challenge of trying to be articulate enough to convey my general rants and ramblings into interesting posts.  Wish me luck!